Think about it!

This time my blog inspiration comes form Darius Rucker's "Don't think I don't think about it" and the movie New Moon.

The song lines that struck me were:
"Don't think I don't think about it,
Don't think I don't have regrets,
Don't think you don't get to me,
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey"

I really enjoyed watching New Moon yesterday afternoon. I had trouble keeping my mind focused on the movie instead of relating my own past experiences to those of the character Jake. Don't worry, I'm not going to provide any spoilers here...

In the movie Jake is fighting for the love of a woman (Bella) that is hopelessly in love with someone else. I have been in this situation so many times that it was actually kind of hard to watch. Especially when Bella was being selfish and ONLY spending time with Jake so that the hurt in her heart would have time to heal. This of course wasn't fair to Jake because he thought that she actually wanted to spend time with him. Who does Jake go to in order to heal his heart?

Many times have I been in this situation...rebound guy so to speak. Women will say "I" just want to be friends, but then eventually pushes or wants more. Then, as if they have waited JUST for me to fall in love with them, they run back to the one that hurt them in the first place. I think sometimes, the women just want to see if they "still have it". Other times, maybe they didn't expect to fall so fast for another person (me)...then that scares them back into their comfort zones...usually the ex! ;-) Again...who does Jake (me) go to in order to heal his heart?

So...going forward what should I do? Not be so easily loved? Maybe not fall in love so quickly? But what happens if I come across Mrs. Right and I'm so closed off and cold that she passed me right by? Like Jake, I can't take the pain anymore. Life is too short and love should be something that I look forward to, instead of fear!!!

And I do fear love right now, or at least the hurt that is left once it's gone! Have I already met Mrs. Right and she will come back into my life? Here's where the song lyrics come in. Yes, I do think at times that maybe things could've been different. Maybe I do have regrets. And sometimes it does get to me (like sitting and watching New Moon).

But I still have to hold onto the belief that things happen for a reason. Like I said in my previous posts, I'm not holding any grudges towards my ex's...and I hope that I can be friends with them again. However, I feel that I may be taking one step forward and two steps back if I went down any of those roads again...at least romantically.

In closing I'll just say: Who do I go to in order to heal my heart??? I can't keep taking the hurt...and honestly, I don't think I deserve to!

But don't think I don't think about it!!!

Thanks for reading!!!