Year in review...2009

Ok...so being that this is the last day of 2009, let me recap what my past year has been like…
1. I started this year by being engaged…ugh! With a looming wedding date in 8 months…I was trying to figure out how to call that off…
2. My 29th b-day was nothing spectacular, but I guess any b-day above ground should be celebrated, right?
3. Viva-Las Vegas trip in February was awesome!!! So much fun was had with the Murray’s and Laura tagging along…Laura’s husband Chris had to cancel the trip because of work requirements…so it was left to me to be the “fill in husband”! I JOKE! But seriously, as recent as X-mas eve night, we were STILL talking about some of the stuff we had gotten into to and how much fun we had.
4. It wasn’t a week after I had gotten back from our Vegas trip that my fiancé called off the wedding and moved out. Insert sigh of relief! My only regret here is that she could’ve told me before I went to Vegas! I still haven’t gone there single!!!
5. Then at the end of February I started my health kick…my goal to lose 30 lbs before I was 30…which I surpassed, a thank you! LOL! I basically just ran my fat belly off!
6. March was the Seether/Nickelback/Saving Abel Concert...ROCK!
7. Around April timeframe I was introduced the Twisted Sister. You’ll have to go back and read about her.
8. In May was the kickass Keith Urban concert! That was a very good time, also spent with the Murray's and Laura...Chris absent again! I'm seeing a pattern here! I joke! I joke!
9. Also in May I won my first election…President of P-burg Aerie # 2307 of the Fraternal Order of Eagles…hopefully the first of many public/private elections I embark in?!?!?
10. In June I met Fairmont girl...again, you can go back and read about her. I basically spent my whole summer wrapped around this chick’s finger.
11. In July I started my Masonic training. I can't talk about it! LOL
12. In October I was raised to Master Mason. Also, Fairmont girl and I called it quits! The games were getting too difficult to enjoy. Chalk another one up to summer romance.
13. Also had an interesting Physic reading at the end of October and booked my Cruise!!!
14. November and December have been pretty decent for me. Once I booked my cruise for my 30th B-day, I have been focusing on getting in better shape and staying single.
Well, that about covers it. 2009 will definitely go down in history as a big year for me…be it bad or good! ;-)
Thanks for reading!

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year to you all! I hope your 2010 is better than your 2009 was!!!
If you have nothing to do tonight, and in the P-burg area, come on down to the Eagles club. We have 2 bands tonight, Jinx'd (rock) and Silverthorne (country) playing in two separate areas...so feel free to bounce back and forth. We will have party favors (hats, decorations, etc.) and breakfast will be served at 1 am. All included in your $20 ticket. OH - yes that may sound expensive, but you can also bring your own alcohol, beer, food, etc. So you'll actually save money if you come out and party with me tonight!
If you don't want to bring anything, the kitchen and bars will be open to serve you!
I hope to see those of you there that can make it!
If not - Have A HAPPY and SAFE New Year!!!

New Home???

Well...this may be my new home next year! I just submitted my resume for a job working for the VA in Austin, Texas!!!
Wish me luck!!! ;-)
I really haven't decided for sure that I would take the job if offered...but I think my life is in need of change and since I really have no ties here (wife/kids), I might as well go and live my life!
Plus...maybe getting out of WV again will better my life in ways I can't imagine. I definately came back to WV better than when I left (for the military). Maybe I need more time to experience the world before I settle down for good in P-burg, WV!!!
Make no mistake about it...if I do leave, I will be back!!!

Too easy to love?

Ok...maybe I'm just a little crazy here...I need guidance!
For the third time in just a few months I've been told by a woman that I was "too easy to love".
Not a bad thing right? Most would consider this is a compliment. Well, I would think so too...
Oh but wait...what if I told you that the women that have told me this were my EX's?
Doesn't sound much like a compliment, now does it?
Basically this is the number one reasons I've been given as to why a few of my relationships had ended (from way back to Crystal...to as recent as Fairmont).
Are they flipping mad? I mean honestly! I'm SO SORRY I wasn't the cheating, beating, drug using, and no job bums that these women were used to dating. And in most cases those girls are back to dating the same guys that they trashed talked, told me they hated, would never be with again in a million years, etc., etc. etc.
So these women, all of whom I treated great and would've given the world, didn't like what I had to offer at the time because "too easy to love" was just TOO EASY for them I guess??? So they go back to their jerks...and then after I move on, I start hearing from them again.
Wonderful...Do I really look like a DOORMAT?
I know what's going on here...these women realize that they let something good pass through their fingers and now they are hoping to get another glimpse. Or maybe, they are just looking for another few weeks of feeling special again, and then they'll go back to their jerks. But momma didn't raise no fool...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!
To all of my women friends out there...please don't male bash in front of me anymore. I mean, look at what I've been going through over the last few years! These women are driving me crazy. Should I just go into perpetual bachelor mode? Just have my fun with them when they are looking to be put up on that pedestal again?
This isn't what I've been about...I've been looking for Mrs. Right now for like 8 years. I know as soon as I go into bachelor mode, Mrs. Right will come in and I won't even notice her.
But how do I work on NOT being "too easy to love"?
Do I really want too???
I will be very interested in comments to this post...please feel free!!! ;-)

Here's to...

My family & friends: I love you so much!!! Thank you for always being there...your advice, opinions, assistance, or just listening to me rant...has helped me through the ups and downs of this year. I need you in my life so much more than I will ever admit.

The new friends I've met this year: I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you. I am hopeful that we will continue to be friends for years to come.

The girl friends (ex's) that have came and gone: Everything happens for a reason and something's just aren't meant to be. I wish you nothing but the very best!!!

And...I wish you ALL a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

I hope 2010 brings you ALL the happiness and good fortune that you deserve!!!

Just cause...

The turnout was light for the Poker game on Friday at the Eagles. I think the approaching snow storm and the X-mas holiday season contributed to the lower numbers.

Nonetheless 30 or so of us played and I was the bubble boy...it was the farthest I had managed to make it at the Eagles tourneys in quite awhile. Congrats to Shuman for taking down the top spot and the $270 in cash!!!

Saturday I managed to get in two workouts. I had to take a break after Frank and I were done with chest and go to the chiropractor. Then I went back to the gym to finish off my legs and ran for 30 minutes. I really should book a cruise every year! It definitely has motivated me!!! Both to get more in shape and stay single!!! Saturday evening was some good quality family time with the cousins and their kids.

Sunday was the annual Eagle's Officers and Employees X-mas party!!! OPEN BAR baby!!! ;-) I'm paying for it today though! Much appreciate to my buddy Brian for picking Chris and I up and giving us a ride home! Better to be safe than sorry...and it's awesome to have friends and family that you can depend on!

Today I finally broke down and scheduled a doctor's appointment to take a look at my shoulder. I think I have either a pinched nerve or a rotary cuff problem. Either way...I'm in pain and I'm not able to work out as hard or as often as I want!

It's just my luck too! Why is it when you're fat and lazy you're happy...as soon as you try to make serious adjustments to better your health then you're in pain and unable to focus! LMAO! Oh well...

The snow was awesome to see this weekend! I wonder if we'll actually have a WHITE X-mas for the first time in years???

I hope you all have a great X-mas!!! Enjoy the time spend with your family and friends!!! ;-)

Poker Tournament

The last Eagle's Poker Tournament of the year is scheduled for this Friday, December 18th, at 7:00 pm.

Registration starts at 6:00 pm. $25 buy-in ($20 – tourney/$5 – all-in chip)

We had a record number of 54 players last month! Thanks to all who was able to make it! This tournament has continued to grow and I'm appreciative to all the "regulars" that make it out to play every month.

I hope to see you all there! And good LUCK!!!

SICK Poker

I am watching last nights Poker After Dark. This week they are having a cash game.

In what has to be the sickest waste of money I've ever seen...5 players (Dwan, Ivey, Hansen, Negreanu, and Antonius) all put $100,000 CASH into the pot BEFORE any cards are dealt to them. The the dealer deals them their hole cards and they flipped their cards up and ran the flop, turn, and river. Patrick Antonius' A-5 takes it down with the board 5-7-J-3-J (for two-pair Ace kicker). $500,000 POT in the DARK!!!

These guys have WAY WAY WAY too much money!!!

Still going down...

Well...as of yesterday I'm 36 pounds lighter than when I started this whole diet/workout trend back in February...that's over 16% weight loss!!! ;-) Who needs the Biggest Loser anyways???

It has all been honest too! Just dieting and running. For the last two weeks, "Frank the Tank" and I have been hitting the gym for some free weight action...so I expect my weight to eventually start going in the opposite direction (muscle weighs more than fat). My goal is and always has been to be in the best shape of my life for my 30th birthday...but of course now it has a purpose and that is to have a great bod for the cruise!!!

In other news...I think I'm finally on the down slope of my cold. This was a weird one...albeit I brought most of it on myself. I probably should've skipped my buddy's house party Saturday night, all the smoke just made my cold worse. I spent Sunday and Monday trying to recover. Tuesday was pretty much a redo of how I felt Saturday (which wasn't too bad)...so today is really the first day where my energy is back up and I have felt better.

Well...that's it for now. I gotta head to the Y and jump on the treadmill for a quick 10 minute warm-up and then Tank and I are hitting the chest and legs today! Legs are the only exercise where I have an advantage over him! ;-) He whines like I do during the chest exercises.

Peace out!!!

Relationship Recap - Crystal

Wow, the blog ideas just keep coming to me.

This one actually came from an ex of mine. She wanted to hear the story that I told my future girl friends about our relationship after we broke-up. So I think this may be the first in a series of "Relationship Recaps" that I will be posting. Let me know if you find this boring or you are uninterested and I will think of other things to write about.

This one is entitled "Crystal" for a reason...not because that was her name, no where close. It's because that is where I first laid eyes on her. But I'm getting ahead of myself...let me lay out the ground work.

I was eating lunch with my Aunt and Uncle at the Crystal Cafe on Market Street. This B-E-A-UUUUtiful woman walks in and I'm sure my jaw just dropped. She had long - strait, brown hair, was tall, slender and extremely attractive...if memory serves me correctly she was wearing a long red coat. I'm not saying that it was love (lust) at first sight...but I haven't felt quite like that before...and I was hoping to feel more! ;-)

I had to leave lunch early to get back to work. Later that evening my Aunt calls me and says "That girl's name is “Crystal”. She has 1 daughter and is in the process of getting a divorce". I guess her Aunt was the waitress there and my Aunt got the scoop for me!

So I met my normal crew there for lunch a few more times. I probably only saw Crystal there once or twice in the 2 weeks since first seeing her. But man...I couldn't help but fall head over heals for her. After a week or 2, I came in to meet my Aunt and her friend Rita there for lunch. Crystal was sitting by herself in the corner.

My Aunt says "Her Aunt says that she will go out with you if you go and ask her out". I think Rita about passed out when I IMMEDIATELY stood up and walked over to Crystal's table, introduced myself, and started a conversation with her. She was easy to talk to, but I'm sure my face matched her red jacket. I was so nervous! That was the first time in my life I had ever done anything like that – and honestly, I still haven’t been that bold again. I never would have before with a girl like that...she just seemed out of my league.

I got her phone number and called her that night. We talked for a few more days and then went to eat at the Olive Garden the following weekend. Could this be the girl of my dreams? That kept running through my head. ANSWER was no! But, let’s get into the why…

There were days that I would hear from Crystal regularly. Then there were days that I wouldn’t hear from her at all. Then there would be days (weekdays) that I would get a call at 2 in the morning telling me that she’s on her way over. It seemed like she wanted a relationship with me, but also her freedom to do anything else she wanted…more on that later.


So I pulled all the nice guy tricks out on her. I knew she had been married to a jerk that didn’t appreciate her. In my book she was a princess and I was going to show her how she should have been treated.

Here’s an example of something I did, but you can’t hold this against me! I don’t want to lose any player points (just kidding). I’m not this sweet anymore…for obvious reasons… it gets you nowhere! ;-) Despite what you women may say, you do not want a nice guy like this. Don’t even try to argue with me! ;-) Anyhow…

It was around January, very cold outside – maybe 25 degrees. I got off of work early and went and picked her up a dozen roses. I was all dressed up (suit and tie with a long, black trench coat). I went to her work and stood outside her window. I called her and was chatting with her. I asked her if it looked cold outside, she said she didn’t know. I told her to look and see. You should’ve seen the smile on her face when she looked out and there I stood holding a dozen red roses for her.

Have you ever been so happy with someone that NOTHING else matters? BUT there is something in the pit of your stomach that is telling you something is wrong? Did I listen to it, of course not! Was I right, yes, but …I’m saving all of that for the end.

Eventually my nice guy routine turned into that “well are we dating or not” guy. I’m no sucker, and if she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, then I needed to focus my time elsewhere. Basically, I gave her an ultimatum…either we are seriously dating or we are over. She chooses for it to be OVER!

So this should be the end of the blog right? I mean, I gave it my best shot with Crystal and it just wasn’t going to work out. OH NO! There’s more to this complex story…

So I spend the next few weeks trying to get Crystal out of my head. You know what I mean…every time the doorbell rings or my cell phone rings she’s the first person that I thought it could be. So much mental focus and energy is spent thinking about someone that doesn’t want you! Why do we do this to ourselves? But I digress…

So about 3 weeks later she calls me. [This story has so many similarities with Fairmont girl…I wonder if they were sisters in a previous life??? Click HERE for a recap.] She wants to “talk”. So we meet for lunch and she basically does a 180 degree spin on what she “wants.” She WANTS a relationship with me, WANTS to be my girlfriend, WANTS there to be an US. Now, was there that pit of the stomach feeling again – something was wrong? YES! Did I listen to it? Of course NOT!

So at this point I have the girl I always wanted. And I think life is good again. I start letting my guard down and allowing myself to fall in love. All is well for a few weeks. That is until one weekend she tells me that through some legal loophole, her ex-husband was forcing her to meet him ½ ways between here and Illinois to drop off their daughter. Warning bells were going off in my head. I didn’t want her to go alone.

I hate it SOOOO much when guys use their kids to get to their ex’s. Be it to get even with them and piss them off, or to try to get back together because they had their fun and saw that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. Well that’s exactly what Crystal fell into.

She didn’t call me at all that weekend...fell off the map so to speak…comes to find out she fell into bed with her ex! I heard from her the following Monday. To her credit, she came by and confessed to sleeping with her ex. Said she still had feelings for him, yada…yada…yada. I was so pissed that I even left my OWN home while she was sitting there trying to explain! LOL

She caught up with me later and told me that she still loved her ex. I said and what about me? “I love you too”. I remember thinking WTF! How do you love two people (as a mate)? I still will never understand that! I loved Crystal…she had all of my love…all of my heart...so I guess I was naïve in thinking that I was going to get out of the relationship what I put into it.

So, I pretty much cut all contact off from Crystal. I didn’t deserve being treated that way and I eventually would be able to move on. So we’re at the point in the blog where, yet again, you think that this should be the end of the story, right? Sorry, LOL, there is more…

Fast forward a few more weeks and Crystal calls me yet again. She’s pregnant!!! She wants to know what I want to do. I said something along the lines of “well, as soon as I know it’s mine, then I’ll support you and be there for you”. She of course insisted that they baby was mine and said “I can’t do this alone!” My smartass came through…”You’re not alone, you have your ex!”

Disclaimer – I am not the type of guy that ditches his responsibilities…this girl cheated on me and I wasn’t going to support her for 9 months and then find out that the baby doesn’t belong to me. She dug her grave! If she never cheated on me…and then she got prego from a faithful relationship with me…I would’ve stepped up and done what was right!

I hear from Crystal’s mom a few weeks later that she had an abortion. I’m not going to get into a drawn out explanation about how I felt here…basically because all the facts were not known to me at the time…saving it for the blog’s conclusion.

So, once again, I should be done hearing or seeing Crystal right? Well…about three or four weeks later I’m sitting at home. Crystal was out of my head and I was getting on with my life. Then comes the Ding Dong of the door bell. It’s Crystal…she asks to come in. Dumbfounded I let her in.

She brings chocolate covered strawberries and a gift for me (Season 2 of Smallville). She says she wants to be friends. My response was “Would you want to be friends with someone that treated you the way you treated me?” She said no. We argued back and forth…but the love was gone from me and I think she saw it. She eventually left and that was the last I thought I would ever hear from Crystal.

And then…let’s really spice up this story. So about 6 months later my cousin runs into Crystal at Wal-mart. She’s PREGNANT! Of course my cousin calls me and gets my mind racing about whether or not this kid is mine or not. But I never contacted Crystal or her mother. I figured the truth would come out one day…and if she wanted a happy life with her husband (not and ex anymore) then who was I to get in the way.

So I spent the next few years comparing just about every girl I dated to Crystal. Sick, I know…but at that point she was my most attractive girl friend…at that point. Life has been good to me the last few months…but that’s another blog.

So you’ll remember that I decided to bury the hatchet and not hold any grudges against any of my ex’s. I sent them all friend’s requests and basically said “I’m not looking for a round 2 or 3…just wanna be friends…accept if you’re cool with it…deny if you’re not”.

Well Crystal was the first to accept. We chatted several times over the next few days and she was even coming in from out of town for the Thanksgiving break. She even stopped by to talk and see what I had done with the place. She was who I went to see New Moon with (see Think About It blog).

It was nice to hear her side of things…for example: that gut feeling where I always felt something was wrong…well I wasn’t being paranoid! She was cheating on me within the first few weeks of dating! Now, most people would be mad at hearing that…but I was actually relieved! Here I thought I was never going to be able to trust someone based off of my feelings and in this case my feelings were RIGHT!!!

Oh, and she didn’t have an abortion…the baby didn’t have a heart beat, so it was never meant to be. And the future baby of hers will be celebrating her 5th birthday in March…which puts her outside of my “window” of opportunity! ;-)

Other than that…we just talked about the old times. It’s funny what she remembers about our relationship and what I have forgotten. It was also ironic that she was also thinking about me at times…even drove by my house a few times…and checked my blog out once and awhile.

Here I had spent most of my adult life thinking that all of my ex’s had moved on with their lives and I was doomed to repeat the same mistakes. In reality…I have learned from a few of my mistakes and I don’t regret anything from my past! All my ex’s have been wonderful learning experiences…what I like…what I don’t like…and what I hope never to come across again!

I wonder if they feel the same? ;-)

Thanks for reading this insanely long blog!!!

Welcome to my new blog!!!

Okay, this is cool...

I spent the afternoon copying all my myspace blog posts over into my new blog. I have really enjoyed this "online" diary of mine and thought I'm appreciative of myspace, I wanted to open my blog up to everyone!

I'm still working on the format, pictures, etc. If you have any suggestions, I would appreciate it!

Thanks for dropping by...I gotta go post one last post of myspace telling everyone that they need to start coming to this site!!!

Thought about it!

Okay...quickie post just to clear things up.

I heard from some of you that read my last blog "Think about it". I guess it must have come across with some mixed signals.

I had a brief moment where I was thinking about the past! That's it! I was watching a movie with a ex (now friends) whom I hadn't seen in 5 years. I was also thinking about what my last ex was thinking about during certain scenes from the movie. Call me crazy...my mind tends to roam! Plus, there is nothing wrong with self-reflection, is there? I'm really trying to learn from my mistakes and move forward.

Truth is, my life is great! I have awesome friends and family. I'm active in the community (Eagles & Masons). I have a great job! I can pretty much do and go where ever I want. I really shouldn't be complaining...and I wasn't.

So of all the things that COULD go wrong, I guess I would want it to be my romantic relationships. Let's be honest, it's easier for me to replace a f'd up relationship than it is a close and dear friend or family member...Or to win election as the President of the Eagles...Or become a Mason...Or get the job I have.

But right now...I am actually enjoying my time alone. 42 more days and I'll have all the fun and excitement I can handle!!!

Hope this clears things up!

Think about it!

This time my blog inspiration comes form Darius Rucker's "Don't think I don't think about it" and the movie New Moon.

The song lines that struck me were:
"Don't think I don't think about it,
Don't think I don't have regrets,
Don't think you don't get to me,
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey"

I really enjoyed watching New Moon yesterday afternoon. I had trouble keeping my mind focused on the movie instead of relating my own past experiences to those of the character Jake. Don't worry, I'm not going to provide any spoilers here...

In the movie Jake is fighting for the love of a woman (Bella) that is hopelessly in love with someone else. I have been in this situation so many times that it was actually kind of hard to watch. Especially when Bella was being selfish and ONLY spending time with Jake so that the hurt in her heart would have time to heal. This of course wasn't fair to Jake because he thought that she actually wanted to spend time with him. Who does Jake go to in order to heal his heart?

Many times have I been in this situation...rebound guy so to speak. Women will say "I" just want to be friends, but then eventually pushes or wants more. Then, as if they have waited JUST for me to fall in love with them, they run back to the one that hurt them in the first place. I think sometimes, the women just want to see if they "still have it". Other times, maybe they didn't expect to fall so fast for another person (me)...then that scares them back into their comfort zones...usually the ex! ;-) Again...who does Jake (me) go to in order to heal his heart?

So...going forward what should I do? Not be so easily loved? Maybe not fall in love so quickly? But what happens if I come across Mrs. Right and I'm so closed off and cold that she passed me right by? Like Jake, I can't take the pain anymore. Life is too short and love should be something that I look forward to, instead of fear!!!

And I do fear love right now, or at least the hurt that is left once it's gone! Have I already met Mrs. Right and she will come back into my life? Here's where the song lyrics come in. Yes, I do think at times that maybe things could've been different. Maybe I do have regrets. And sometimes it does get to me (like sitting and watching New Moon).

But I still have to hold onto the belief that things happen for a reason. Like I said in my previous posts, I'm not holding any grudges towards my ex's...and I hope that I can be friends with them again. However, I feel that I may be taking one step forward and two steps back if I went down any of those roads again...at least romantically.

In closing I'll just say: Who do I go to in order to heal my heart??? I can't keep taking the hurt...and honestly, I don't think I deserve to!

But don't think I don't think about it!!!

Thanks for reading!!!