Liquid courage???

Okay, so tonight was an interesting night...

I'm really trying to figure this out in my head...what it all means, why it's happening, etc.

We went out for Big Red's b-day party tonight and ended up at the Thirsty Turtle to listen to Sound Theory. Awesome band and they played a lot of Godsmack, Shinedown, and Seether! I definitely recommend!!!

I wasn't drinking tonight...hence the subject "Liquid Courage"...or should I say lack there of. Actually I haven't been drunk in over two weeks...for reasons that I'm not going into here, at least not yet. Let's just say that I'm enjoying waking up without a hang-over, enjoying this extra energy that I have, and enjoy the fact that I now know that I can still party with my friends without being drunk. Razz me as they may! LOL

So the crowds there tonight were normal for that bar. The one cute girl that was dancing with her boyfriend had a rockin' body, but she was missing her two front teeth! LOL - I'm not joking! ;-)

We were there to celebrate Red's b-day, so I really didn't mind the lack of eye-candy. But as the hours grew later, the scenery improved dramatically...and NO it wasn't the beer goggles, because I was only drinking water or Busch NA (non-alcoholic).

About an hour into the bands set (about 11) this b-e-a-utiful blonde walks in with her two girl friends. She's petite, sexy, cute ass...all the things that I go for. My jaw dropped several times while she was rocking/dancing to the band...definitely someone that I would've loved to have a night out with, if you catch my drift.

Sadly I can't tell you her name. Frank was trying to get me to go buy her a drink...but I just shrugged him off. Sure, I wanted too, but something didn't feel right. Was this something my LACK of "liquid courage"? I don't know...and I sure hope not. ;-(

So I watched from afar. There wasn't any doubt that this chick was my type (sexually)...but she had trouble written all over her. She immitted drama and frustration. Does that make sense? NOW the drunk Jr. would've only had one thing on his mind and it wouldn't have mattered what drama I would've had to put up with. SOBER Jr. however, wanted to give it some time to see what this chick was all about.

I'm glad I did...she wasn't there 15 minutes and had 2 girls ready to kick her ass! LOL. With the band playing as loud as it was, it was hard to decern what exactly was going on, but those girls didn't like her very well, that's for sure. As I figured, something wasn't right with her...drama queen for sure! After everything settled down, this chick was up on the dance floor, by herself, just dancing and rocking like she was taunting those two girls...and those girls were sitting in chairs not two feet from her, facing the dance floor - staring her down, if only looks could kill! So she obviously liked the drama and causing shit. True, I don't know the whole story, but my gut was dead on! D-R-A-M-A queen!

So after seeing all of this, why don't I feel better? OH, that's cause I'm home alone now writting on a blog! LOL. NO, that's not it, I'm just joking. My gut told me something, and for once I was sober enough to listen to it. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks! ;-)

I guess my fear is that without liquid courage I won't be able to approach women again. Yes, I know it shouldn't matter...and I guess it eventually won't. I haven't met all of my ex-girlfriends while I was drinking...but the last few have been in bars...and we see how those have worked out! LOL. But then again, the ones I have met at places like restuarants and cafes haven't fared any better. Go figure!

So the jury is still out on this one...I just really don't know what to think about the whole situation.

Confused and going to bed! Good night all...thanks for reading.

After 30???

As all you faithful blog followers will know, I recently booked a cruise for my 30th b-day in January.

Of course I am excited beyond words! This has given me the motivation to get into the gym and start seriously working out...and more importantly has convinced me to stay single for the next two months! ;-)

But...

Someone asked me the other day what I was planning for after my cruise. Great question and though I managed to produce a semi-thought out answer, I decided it needed more thought.

What lies ahead for me in my "next 30 years"? I really don't know. ;-(

Sure, I could give the standard answer which is "start a family" but I've been saying that for years now...and no matter how hard I may WANT it to happen, it's only going to happen when all the conditions are right! But I digress...

I guess after the cruise I will still continue to hit the gym...in preparation for a yet unscheduled beach trip next summer.

Of course I still have my Presidential duties at the Eagles to attend to until June when the new sucker, I mean President, is elected! ;-)

Other than that, I really don't know. Work will be busy around May/June and it may include some travel to DC. Always nice to get out of town.

I might put in for a job at another Agency that would require that I moved to Texas. From what I hear, Austin would be an awesome place to live.

I also promised myself to learn to play the guitar...though that has been put on the back burner in place of 2-hour gym excursions. ;-( But I'm sure it will be worth it when I get on the cruise boat! LOL

Of course, I guess I will start looking for a steady girl friend again, after the cruise of course...maybe even after the beach trip. I guess I just have to see what options are available! LOL

Honestly though, it's actually nice not having my immediate future planned out. I don't have to stress over anything! This would be the first time in a LONG time that I can just focus on me and not be worrying about everyone else.

So in closing! Take a moment and ponder your future! I hope it goes how you desire!

LATER!

A to Z about me!

A
- Available: Yes
- Age: 29
- Annoyance: People who think they are better than me
- Animal: Mongoose (kills snakes)

B
- Beer: Michelob Ultra
- Birthday: January 23rd
- Best Friends: Are rare and should be held onto
- Body Part on opposite sex: Ass
- Best feeling in the world: Feeling wanted
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf
- Best weather: Fall
- Been on stage?: Yes
- Believe in Magic: No
- Believe in Santa: I did

C
- Candy: Reese's Cups (frozen)
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese
- Cake or pie: Pie
- Continent to visit: Australia

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dance in the rain: Sure

E
- Eyes: Blue
- Everyone's got: Assholes and Opinions
- Ever failed a class?: Yes (9th grade) - I was never there

F
- Full name: Ronald Dean Ruble Junior
- First thoughts waking up: Time for work already?
- Food: Steak

G
- Greatest Fear: Dying alone
- Gum: Trident
- Get along with your parents?: My mom

H
- Hair Color: Blonde
- Height: 6'2"
- Happy: Getting better
- Holiday: New Years
- How do you want to die: In my sleep

I
- Ice Cream: Strawberry
- Instrument: Learning the guitar (slowly)

J
- Jewelry: Titanium

K
- Kids: 0
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate
- Keep a journal?: Isn't this what the blog is?

L
- Longest Car Ride: WV to FL
- Love: May never find me...but I'll still look
- Letter: X
- Laughed so hard you cried: All the time

M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate ONLY
- Movies: Horror, Action and Comedy
- Motion sickness?: One time in Vegas...but I blame the booze
- McD’s or BK: NEITHER! Wendy's and Sonic!

N
- Number of Siblings: 2
- Number of Piercings: 1
-Number: 23

O
- One wish: Find someone that will put into a relationship as much as I do

p
- Perfect Pizza: PapaJohn's supreme replace onions with banana peppers and replace green peppers with mushrooms
- Pepsi/Coke: Diet Pepsi

Q
- Quote: "The best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else!"

R
- Reason to cry: Loss
- Reality T.V.: Apprentice
- Radio Station: Rock & Country
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yes

S
- Song: "Don't Ever Leave" Smile Empty Soul
-Shoe size: 11.5
- Salad Dressing: Hidden Valley Ranch
- Sushi: Negatory
- Skipped school: Whenever I could
- Slept outside: Sure
- Smoke?: On occasions...cigars
- Skinny dipped?: Oh yeah! ;-)
- Shower daily?: Sometimes twice
- Sing well?: I've been told I do
- In the shower? Certainly
- Swear?: All the time
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both
- Time for bed: Work nights...11ish
- Thunderstorms: LOVE THEM

U
- Unpredictable: Relationships

V
- Vacation spot: V is for Vegas baby! ;-)

W
- Weakness: My mouth
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I really can't think of one...everyone is different
- Who makes you laugh the most: Brian or Tracey
- Worst feeling: Loneliness
- Wanted to be a model? Yeah...when I was in the Army I was working out 2 hours a day...wanted to be an underwear model! lol
- Where do we go when we die?: Graveyard or Crematory
- Worst Weather?: HOT and DRY

X
-X-Rays: A few
-Ex's: SO MANY...couldn't even give you a number

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: Summer color

Z
- Zoo animal: Lion

JR. - 5

Well I never actually expected much from my new outlook on relationships (read previous post). Honestly, it just felt right for me to let go of all the anger and hate and finally forgive people.

So I did that and send out a few friends request both on here and Face Book. I was curious how it was going to be taken. I fully expected some of them to think that I was looking for a Round 2 (or 3 in some cases). That wasn't what I was wanting. I just wanted to clear the air...get all of the demons off my chest. Live and let live...etc.

So that the next time I run into one of my ex's, there won't be any tension, hard feelings, or anger. After all, at one point or another I cared for most of them. In most cases we had in depth conversations about "our" future, goals, etc. So in a way, most of them know me better than some of my friends do.

One friend I heard back from has really opened my eyes to this whole forgive and forget mentality...for the better. I dwelled over that relationship for many years...even while I was other relationships. That wasn't healthy...or fair to my girl friend at that time.

So what I've learned is that the "JR. - 5" (Jr. from 5 years or so ago) wasn't as crazy as he thought. Some of the things that didn't feel right, and he ignored, WERE NOT right...LOL. Other things that he believed, we just lies. I've learned things about my relationships that I didn't know, things that would've made it much easier for me to move on, but not necessarily good at the time to know. I've also learned that I made better impressions that I thought...that was a good confidence booster. This whole experience has opened up my eyes for the better!

But it's also comforting to hear from the other side of my relationships. I've never really sat and thought about how my ex's felt or currently feel after a break up. I always assumed they moved on with their life and were happy with the boy friends/husbands that they found and he's poor "JR. - 5" still looking for Ms. Right.

In reality, I guess some of these ex's had just as much problem getting over our relationships than I did. They would avoid the shared places we hung out. The would drive by my house to see what I was doing. They may think of me when a certain song comes on, or when a certain movie is playing, or smell a certain colgne/perfume. Whatever it was...I WAS probably doing the same.

Realizing this will make it much easier to get over any future relationships that end sour. HOPEFULLY, that won't happen, but come on...let's look at my track record! LOL...I wouldn't even bet on me! ;-)



Thanks for reading everyone...take care!

Time slips away...

I wasn't feeling in my normal ROCK mood today, so I selected the old country playlist and just mellowed out while I was working. After a few hours into the day and the iPhone plays George Jone's "Funny How Time Slips Away". And something just hit me - and hit me HARD!

Here's the verse that really got me into a retrospective mode:
"How's your new love? I hope that he's doing fine!"

For some reason I have played that verse over and over in my head for the past few hours...so much so that I thought I would make it my next blog entry! Lucky you! ;-)

I guess I should explain to you my phases for ending or getting over a relationship:

1st - DENIAL: I could see all of the signs that a relationship was heading the wrong way or wasn't what I wanted, but I still chose to continue on. I'm not sure why, but this leads me to my next phase:

2nd - ANGER: Not just at my ex (if it was deserved) but also at myself for not seeing the signs or falling into the same trap that I had before (fool me once and all that). Sure, I was still angry at the ex. The Jr. from 10 years ago would try to get even somehow by trying to ruin their current relationship or some other crazy get-even scheme. But honestly, that didn't help ME with anything. Eventually I would head into what used to by my last phase:

3rd - MOVE-ON: I guess the best way to explain this phase is to tell you about a quote I heard on my favorite show Nip/Tuck for next week's episode: "The best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else". And that basically how I would get over my serious relationships. Looking back I realize that bouncing from relationship to relationship was my own personal version of Hell. I lost a little bit of myself during/after each one. I hope that one day it all comes back. So those are basically the phases of my life after ending a relationship...repeated over and over again over the last 10 years or so. Yes, I know...a little sad. That's not the reason I'm writing about it though. After listening to that song today I realized that I'm actually at a new phase. A phase I've never been at in my life before - EVER! That phase is:

4th - FORGIVENESS: In the past, I never was the type of person to stay in contact with my ex's. I always looked at it like this: they are an EX for a reason! In reality, that was just ME holding onto anger (2nd phase) and never really moving-on in my 3rd phase. Anger was also my defense mechanism...it was easier to be mad than to forgive.

Well, I am now at a new phase in my life. I am willing to forgive all the liars, cheaters, and such that I have dated in my past. They all had their reasons...and it really doesn't matter if I ever know what they were. I am done thinking that every relationship was a waste of my time....INSTEAD...they were opportunities for me to learn what I want/don't want, what makes me happy/unhappy, and what I want/don't want for my future.

I have this ODD sense of peace. Have I really been holding all of this hate and anger in for so long? I guess I have...and I am never going to be able to have a meaningful relationship until I am at peace with my past and WHO I am. After all, my past relationships have made me who I am...at least with regards to "Boyfriend Jr". Now I need to learn to take the best out of each of those relationships and apply it to Mrs. Right...at least when I ever meet her! ;-)

So in closing...if you were an ex of mine, I wish you all of the best. I harbor no hard feelings towards you or your current love, and if I ever see you or hear from you again I'll politely ask: "How's your new love? I hope that he's doing fine!"

WOW! I feel FREE now! Is that weird? I I'll be interested in some of your comments...take care! ;-)

Long...everything

Hey all...I hope you had a better day than I did.

I had to work about 14 hours today and I'm looking at about 12 tomorrow. It's odd though, because today went by quicker than my normal work days. I'm sure we all can agree, the quicker work SEEMS to go by, the better!

I had a pretty good weekend; I hope you all did too. Like I said in my last post, I played poker at the Yanok's house on Friday (2 games and won $65 total). Not great, but I enjoy playing. I really need to free my time up and get down to the casinos one weekend! I haven't been back since July! ;-(

I worked a few hours Saturday and then worked out. I met up with a new friend for dinner & a movie. Let's call this one Rafter girl...to protect her identity...or could it be to protect me??? LOL

We went up to ....Athens.... to the movie theater up there. Yes, I little bit of a drive but we had some time to burn and I'm telling you what, the CRAP REGAL theaters here doesn’t compare. If you ever want to go up there, just head towards ....Athens.... and take the ....State Street.... exit...head into town and the theater will be on your right (Athena Grand). Stadium seating and cheap tickets/concessions.

The movie we saw SUCKED…The Box is a stupid movie! I'm not even going to waste your time or mine in describing why it was so bad. Just believe me that this at BEST is a RENTER! ;-)

Sunday I tried to catch up on some of my sleep deprivation! ;-) I had to be over at the Eagles around 1:30 for a Veteran's day ceremony. That was pretty neat...we had a guest speaker that had just completed a tour in ....Iraq..... He had a slide show of some of the pics they had taken. Those men and women deserve 100% of our support.

I'm really not looking forward to the rest of this week! ;-( Another long day tomorrow, and then meetings at the Eagles Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night. Then I'll be back there Friday night, but under better circumstances...it'll be time to host another Eagle's poker game! OH YEAH! If you’re looking for a poker game, come on out…7 pm sharp.

I have a lot of fun running these games. Truth be told, if I could make comparable money to my current job, I would quit and become a full-time Pit-Boss! That would be so cool!!!

Well in closing, you'll see that my last post was edited. I guess nothing is as private as I would think anymore. The person that I was writing about asked me to remove identifying features about her from the blog.

I'm not out to cause anyone any trouble in this world (unless they started it!). This is just the place where I vent my frustrations, speak my mind, and have a small following of blog readers. I guess I'll need to be more careful on what information I put out here from now on.

If I continue to put my foot in my mouth, I'll have to close my blog down to friends only. I hate doing that because I know there are some people that don't have Myspace pages that read my blog and it would basically shut them out. And truth-be-known, this blog is the only reason I have a Myspace account anymore. I have pretty much quit updating my photos and stuff here and now do so only on Face Book. YEAH...go ahead and cyber stalk me on Face Book!!! :-) I'll close that one down too! ;-) I'm just kidding.

I hope your week goes quickly for you. HOW soon can I start my Vacation Countdown without it becoming annoying?

.. ..

Good nite all!!!

Good 1st date

Hey there everybody...by the time you read this it should be FRIIIIDAY! Finally the weekend has arrived once again!

I had my date with [edited at her request] tonight. All went well. No uncomfortable silences, which is always nice.

[edited at her request], work night for me, we just met up for dinner. We had some good conversations. She seemed really easy to talk to.

I can't say that we are the "perfect" match...but she spoke her mind and I spoke mine. It was so nice to talk with someone that I knew wasn't just saying what I wanted to hear...someone that was being truthful, whether I liked it or not.

I liked most of it...we realized early on that we won't be able to talk about politics! ;-) Let's just leave it at that...we are on the opposite side of the spectrum on that front.

But, she and I seemed to have similar stories concerning our past relationships. You know, where we meet someone and they have a job and seem to have their life in order, only to find out later that they have quit their job and are complete LOSERS! It was nice to meet someone from the same f'd up past.

My next date with [edited at her request] probably won't be until next weekend...I have a poker game this Friday and [edited at her request]. Hey, nothing wrong with taking a S-L-O-W approach for once! ;-)

In other news...I broke my guitar out of it's shipping box tonight before my date. Man, I really can't wait to start watching those DVD's and seeing if/how quickly I'm going to pick all of that up.

Tomorrow night is the monthly Yanok poker tourney. That is always a good time filled with friends, poker, beer, and usually some WILD behavior! ;-)

As for this weekend I really haven't made any plans...I may have to work some this weekend. My uncle wants me to help him rearrange some furniture in his house. Also we are having a Veteran's Day memorial celebration at the Eagles on Sunday at 2:00. There will be a Blackhawk helicopter doing a fly over...so that should be cool.

I booked my first cruise today! I can't FREAKING wait!!! It's a singles cruise and I really hope I have a lot of fun. It will be the week of my 30th birthday party, so I'm sure to have some FUN. Now the only problem for me is to STAY single until January 16th! LOL...who wants to go on a singles cruise and not be able to ACT singe! ;-)

Well, if you have read this far, again, I'm sorry for boring you! LOL

I seem to use this place to drain my thoughts and to clear my head. Some of you have seemed to enjoy it. Maybe it's because you enjoy reading about my f'd up life...maybe not...BUT I promise you I'll continue to post as long as you continue to read.

Good night everyone! I hope you all have a good...NO, a G-R-E-A-T weekend!!!

Hump day update

Hey everyone...I hope your hump day humps along quickly. ;-) I had a minute and wanted to put another post out here to update all of my faithful blog followers...whomever you all are! My personal life has been moving along nicely. I'm still dealing with some BS from Fairmont girl, but hopefully she has realized now that I'm not falling for her games anymore and will finally leave me alone. It's either that or I'm going to have to change my phone number, which will suck, but it may come to that. ;-( Halloween was a blast, I met a girl there and we had one dance, exchanged phone numbers, and she had to leave with her group. We texted back and forth on Sunday. It was nice to know that I still "had it" so to speak! ;-) Also I have been e-mail/texting a girl that my buddy's kid has as a teacher. She seems really nice! We have had a lot of conversations this week. We seem to have a lot in common, especially in what we are looking for in relationships. We have a dinner date on Thursday, so I'll be sure to tell you all how it goes. If nothing else, it will be a new friend to hang out with! ;-) I got my guitar in the mail yesterday, but sadly I had Presidential duties to attend to at the Eagles and I didn't get time to open it up. ;-( Like I said, things are looking better...thanks to all that have commented and for the words of inspiration. Things I'm looking forward to: 1. Date with teacher on Thursday 2. Poker tourneys at Yanok's on Friday 3. Starting to play my guitar this weekend 4. Eagles Poker tourney next Friday 5. 8-Night Singles Cruise in January!!! I have seen an increase in my blog readership...which means that either misery deserves company, or you really enjoy reading about my screwed up life! If there is anything you want me to blog about, just message me and I'll see what I can do. Talk to you later!!!

Psychic Reading

Hey everyone, I hope you had a great Halloween. Mine was fantastic; of course I’m paying for it now.

I went to a psychic yesterday…man was it cool. I’ve been to card readers before, but never to a psychic. This guys was scary accurate. He didn’t tell me everything that I wanted to hear, but perhaps what I needed to hear.

Two things that made it really stand out for me and led me to believe that this guy was legit. A few months ago a friend of mine that lives in Texas asked me if I was interested in a promotion…only downside was that I’d have to move to Texas. I kind of blew her off because I had just gotten back together with Fairmont girl (what a waste), but that has all been covered.

He started by asking if I was happy where I worked, I answered yes. He then asked if I was happy with the work I did, I said no. He asked if I have ever thought of moving for another job, I said yes. He then paused and said…They are telling me to tell you Texas! Of all the 50 states and he picks up on Texas! Way too cool.

Later he brought up one of my favorite quotes when we were talking about my relationships. He was telling me that I needed to play the field and not settle down for a few more years. He said that he saw me very happy in a relationship by the time I’m 32 and I would have 4 kids! He then said…They are telling me to tell you that it’s like buying a new car! I lost it! I have said for many years that marrying a woman without having sex is like buying a new car without test driving it. It was so freaky that he said that.

Other things he said were pretty cool. He said that I had such a bright future ahead of myself that most would be envious. He said he saw me living until I was at least 86, possible farther. He told me that I should focus on continuing my education because he saw me teaching in the near future.

He also said this area is like a magnet to me, holding me back from my true potential. So, I’m really going to start looking for jobs elsewhere. I can always retire back to Parkersburg if I wanted to.

And he was right about my relationships…I just need to take a step back and quit trying to control every aspect of my life. I just need to let happen what’s going to happen. No more looking for Ms. Right anymore! I’m back in test-drive mode! Lol

Thanks for reading everyone!