Confusion

I'm finding myself lacking motivation since I've returned home from my cruise. I'm still hitting the gym and overall trying to remain healthy. What I haven't been concentrating on is remaining single...and here in lies my problem (I think).

I have realized that I really hate dating! I know at times I look at married couples and think "I'm glad he married her" or "So glad I'm not in that relationship". In all honesty though, dating isn't any better!

Ok...backup a bit. I have gone on a few dates recently where I thought things went well, however I really don't think I put much interest into it. Maybe that was obvious during the date...maybe not. Now I'm not saying she wasn't interesting, just that I may not have came across as the true me.

So what is the true me? Well that's kind of up in the air right now. As all the regular blog followers can attest, I have a bad habit of pushing for a more serious relationship much sooner than I should. In the end, we both don't fully know each other and had we known certain things, we probably would have never dated for long. This has been the case in more than a few of my relationships.

Is it wrong to see this as a problem? I guess it will only be a problem while I'm meeting women afraid of commitment OR who just got out of a serious relationship and not looking for another one. The true problem is how can I tell? Another problem for me is that I have realized that dating for me has turned into a job interview - for both me and my date - and who likes job interviews?

I guess I'm just missing the "stay single" focus that I had before my cruise. Life was simpler and I was happier. Being back in the hunt has not been all that it's advertised to be...and everyone knows how I hate hunting! And with "Single's Awareness Day" a.k.a. Valentines Day this weekend, there is even more attention paid to us singles.

So there really is no great conclusion to this blog. I am still up in the air as where I want to direct myself. The irresponsible person in me says to book the singles cruise in April and go back to blowing off women here! The responsible person in me says "WAIT...what if you meet Ms. Right and she passed you by?" Right now, honestly, Mr. Irresponsible is winning!

So...I'm concluding in confusion! ;-)